17 Jun

Mayhem starts the groupchat for summer chaos

@summerstorms @heatwave @massivecrowds @thunderandlightning have been added to the chat.

Mayhem

Hey team, just checking in now that summer is in full swing! I wanted to make sure we are prepared to live up to our lofty goal for #summer2024: Make the traveling public so frustrated they contemplate a travel-less, Amish existence.

First off, I’d like to introduce everyone to @summerstorms, newly out of retirement! Let’s give them a real nice welcome.

Summerstorms

Hey everyone, so good to meet you all! Thrilled to be here, and ready to drench runways and erode taxiway visibility!

Mayhem

Thanks, SS. Really excited to see what you have in store for everyone this summer. Do we have reports back on the busiest airports to hit, and when?

Summerstorms

Still in preliminaries, but so far my talks with Mother Nature have been going well. I’ll let you know as soon as I know anything more definitive, but right now the key players are looking to be Dallas, Miami, Atlanta, and Cleveland.

Mayhem

Cleveland, huh? Didn’t see that coming, but okay. Have fun in Ohio. Now—

Thunder/Lightning

Hey, sorry to interrupt, but can we circle back for a sec?

Mayhem

Here we go…

Thunder/Lightning

No, but we just feel like weather disruptions have been our account for several millennia now? And we’re already sharing so much with Blizzards and Nor’easters, and it just kind of feels like we’re being boxed out here.

Mayhem

Look, TL, we would never devalue what you do, but with all due respect, it’s done. It’s tired. As a stand-alone, it’s less effective—you essentially do a little light show for a few hours, cause some minor disruptions, but you don’t have the staying power a storm or heatwave has. That’s why we’re really hoping that by teaming you up with the other weather departments, you’ll all be at maximum efficacy to fully cause major mayhem this summer. Is that something you feel like you can do?

Thunder/Lightning

Full disclosure, in therapy we’re really working on defensiveness and imposter syndrome specifically as it holds us back from evolving in our workplace. Lightning, get Dr. Morgan on the books for this afternoon; we clearly have more work to do.

Mayhem

Great. Okay. Go off, mental health matters.

Heatwave, how are things shaping up on your end?

Heatwave

After a lackluster start to May, I feel really good about where we’re at. Some might say we’re coming in “hot” when it comes to June. Most people expect it to be more mild than July and August, so they’re surprised and blissfully unprepared for the bone-melting, soul-sucking experience that will be stepping outside. It’s gonna feel like stepping into a fully preheated oven, only instead of a delicious dinner or dessert awaiting, it will be heatstroke. We are confident in wreaking utter havoc in terms of loading bags, catering, any taxiway movement really, as well as delaying or outright shifting landing and take-off times in specific prime markets like Phoenix and Austin. Boarding will also be even more of a living nightmare than it already is, as we intend to push APUs/jet bridge and grounded plane ACs to the absolute brink.

Mayhem

God, you love your work and it shows.

Heatwave

Thanks, man, it’s not work if you love what you melt.

Mayhem

Love the drive. Please have preliminary predictive reports on my desk next week in terms of a loose timeline when we can expect to see results.

Massive Crowds, how are you doing? As a main shareholder here, what do you think about your role this summer and also the big picture of five-alarm frenzied chaos for this quarter’s travel?

Massive Crowds

Dude, from what I’m seeing, we’re on track for one of the most successful returns from a summer we’ve seen in decades. With more people than ever before set to travel this season, the unending security lines and overbooked situations make themselves. I also know another main shareholder, climate change, is thrilled with what your weather team in particular has going, so well done all.

Mayhem

Great. Great. So let’s keep our eyes on the prize and remember that it’s not all about the flights we ground or the rampers we delay, it’s about the hundreds of thousands we make cry along the way. Have a great day, everyone.

Posted by | Posted at June 17, 2024 2:14 pm |
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About us

Airlines depend on ELP Aviation because our software improves operational efficiencies, eases crew interactions, and increases profitability. We offer products that provide scalable and agile solutions based on the individual Carrier’s needs. We’re already thinking about how to solve the next problem.

Learn more
Locations

 

Headquarters:  103 W Spring Ave, Conway Springs, KS, USA

Branch Office: Narayana Enclave, Plot No 610, Road Number 33, Jubilee Hills, Hyderabad-500033, Telangana, India.

Contact Us
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If you are an ELP CrewPortal App user please contact your Airline Department for questions.

@ ELP Aviation, Inc. 2020