In anticipation of the ham, we ask that you place your seats adequately under the dining table, and make sure your napkin is delicately gracing your lap.
No, honey, they know I’m a captain, they love the hat. I’m keeping it on while we eat.
Anyway, my lead wife here worked tremendously hard on this meal, so I know you’ll treat her with all the respect and appreciation she deserves. She’s here mainly for the family time, but please don’t hesitate to ask her for anything that might make your meal more enjoyable.