As the pink-hearted haze of my vision cleared and my blood sugars stabilized post chocolate binge, I got to thinking about Valentine’s Day. Namely, St Valentine himself. Who was he? Why was a day dedicated to love named after him? His story must be one of romantic interludes and passionate vows of affection, right?
WRONG. SO WRONG. I HAD NO IDEA HOW WRONG…
According to the History Channel’s account of this dude, we’re not even sure of his identity. Historians have narrowed it down to 2 probable candidates, both of whom lived in the Middle Ages, and got into trouble for *checks notes* healing sick kids? We can only guess that the extent of their cures was less a miracle and more of a suggestion to bathe or something (again, Middle Ages), but there’s no real way to know. The kids got better, though, which inspired many families in the respective villages to convert to Christianity, during a time when being Christian was not cute*
*not cute- punishable by death
Today we could site faulty lines of logic and causation, but back then the powers that were cited, everyone’s favorite catchall, witchcraft. Both possible St Valentines were imprisoned and later beheaded on the same day. Fun! We don’t know about you, but this story definitely made us want to send flowers and cute notes to our loved ones. Nothing stokes the fires of passion quite like mutual decapitation.