17 Feb

Petition to Change St Valentine’s Day to St Joseph of Cupertino’s Day

The Idea You Had of St Valentine...Who Was He?

As the pink-hearted haze of my vision cleared and my blood sugars stabilized post chocolate binge, I got to thinking about Valentine’s Day. Namely, St Valentine himself. Who was he? Why was a day dedicated to love named after him? His story must be one of romantic interludes and passionate vows of affection, right?

WRONG. SO WRONG. I HAD NO IDEA HOW WRONG…

According to the History Channel’s account of this dude, we’re not even sure of his identity. Historians have narrowed it down to 2 probable candidates, both of whom lived in the Middle Ages, and got into trouble for *checks notes* healing sick kids? We can only guess that the extent of their cures was less a miracle and more of a suggestion to bathe or something (again, Middle Ages), but there’s no real way to know. The kids got better, though, which inspired many families in the respective villages to convert to Christianity, during a time when being Christian was not cute*

*not cute- punishable by death

Today we could site faulty lines of logic and causation, but back then the powers that were cited, everyone’s favorite catchall, witchcraft. Both possible St Valentines were imprisoned and later beheaded on the same day. Fun! We don’t know about you, but this story definitely made us want to send flowers and cute notes to our loved ones. Nothing stokes the fires of passion quite like mutual decapitation.

The look…of love…in those dead eyes.

Can’t wait to meet up with Ancient Rome and make it weird.

Give Up the Goat

It’s also possible that Valentine’s Day originated because, later, as Christianity found its footing the church was desperate to come up with a holiday to replace the Roman festival of Lupercalia. During the celebration, (I’m gonna need you to brace yourself here) 2 nearly naked men (is this where Cupid came from?) would run around slapping people with pieces of goat skin. What was ancient Rome? Why was ancient Rome?

Go, Go, Go, Joe

It was discovering the rather questionable potential histories of Valentine’s Day that made me yearn for an alternative. Enter, St Joseph of Cupertino, the Patron Saint of Aviation. His story is one of overcoming a learning disability to become a dedicated servant of the church. He was well versed in self- denial, only eating solid food twice a week; he also put bitter powder on the food he DID eat (this seems a bit much but go off, sir). He was known to have fits of ecstasy where he’d have visions and speak in tongues, he could heal the sick, and sometimes he would literally levitate off the ground? We are sure that absolutely happened and is in no way exaggerated because this guy was cool and is better than St. Valentine could ever hope to be (and definitely better than getting slapped by a dead goat).

In Conclusion: Joseph Could Have Taken Valentine in a Street Fight

Look, was he perfect? No. But who is? He had to try multiple times to join a religious order, since he was flighty (I had to) and had a hard time paying attention or accomplishing tasks. He overcame all of this, and isn’t that really the story of aviation, and of love? In overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds, we are made, and relationships are forged.

Maybe for some people, those odds are about finding love. And maybe for others, those odds are about dismissing the higher ups who tell you that you can’t levitate or join the Franciscan Order. Hundreds of years later, those odds would be 2 brothers in North Carolina dismissing public skepticism and the laws of gravity.

Did Joe actually levitate? HE believed he did. Were his visions and fits probably just a consequence of barely eating, and putting God (literally) knows what on the food he DID consume? Probably. But hey, at least our pick kept his head.

Gravity/ Stay the hell away from me. – John Mayer/The Wright Brothers, probably

Posted by | Posted at February 17, 2022 11:44 pm |
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About us

Airlines depend on ELP Aviation because our software improves operational efficiencies, eases crew interactions, and increases profitability. We offer products that provide scalable and agile solutions based on the individual Carrier’s needs. We’re already thinking about how to solve the next problem.

Learn more
Locations

 

Headquarters:  103 W Spring Ave, Conway Springs, KS, USA

Branch Office: Narayana Enclave, Plot No 610, Road Number 33, Jubilee Hills, Hyderabad-500033, Telangana, India.

Contact Us
+ 1 (316) 239-6080

info@elpaviation.com

 

Account
If you are an ELP CrewPortal App user please contact your Airline Department for questions.

@ ELP Aviation, Inc. 2020