Friends, family, elite one-world members, sapphire keys, emerald elites, tungstens, woods, reclaimed woods, uniformed military, and all groups all rows, thank you for being here today. We are thrilled to bear witness to a union of low-cost soulmates. A merger of hearts, minds, and continental US destinations; of our fearless flyers, Frontier and Spirit.
14
Feb
Frontier <3s Spirit
They Eloped!
Just in time for Valentine's Day
When we first heard of this merger, we were thrilled beyond words for both of our high-flying friends. Frontier always felt like it had it all…almost. It had cute animals on its tails, sure, but no companion in flight. Spirit too, the little bumblebee of aviation, knew something was missing. And that something was cost-effective flights (killing it in that department) and a soulmate with which to soar.
Would both be doomed to traverse the globe alone, with only a wide selection of popular beverages for company?
The universe said no, and so it was that these two have come together today to announce their merger- of budget dreams, of low-cost hopes, of only 519 redundant routes out of 2832…those numbers ain’t bad.
They are also pleased to announce that they are already expecting- if approved, this union will yield $6.6 billion, and will nab them a spot as the 5th largest airline in the US. While many wait with bated breath to see the fate of their name change, surely either would be proud to bear the other’s auspicious appellative.
We wish them both nothing but many years of merged happiness, and ask that in lieu of gifts, please send curses and bad vibes to all anti-trust regulators.
XOXO,
Executive Platinums