In honor of the 4th of July, I’ve decided to parse out which would be the airline of choice for various Founding Fathers- note this will be based only on what I remember from AP US history and the fact I made Hamilton my entire personality last summer.

“Wanna use some miles to hang out in Jersey?”

An immigrant doggedly determined to prove himself, Hamilton stands out for his incredible work ethic, and economic prowess, and (after outing his own affair) have absolutely zero chill. I think he’d be a Frontier man because, despite his personal setbacks, he was super into independence as it presented an opportunity to forge a newer, more equitable nation.

Perhaps a bit on the nose, but come on, the dude was our first president. Also, I have it on good authority that Delaware isn’t a hub, and few of their routes take them anywhere near the Delaware river, which I feel like Georgie would appreciate. Once was enough.

I honestly don’t think I’m making up this tidbit from history: apparently Benny boy was a bit of a ladies man back in the day, and spent a lot of time flirting with cuties in France. I suppose there’s a lid for every pot, or maybe beauty standards of the time exalted bespeckled nerds with receding hairlines.

I dunno, he seems bougie- i feel like he brushed his ponytail 100 times before he went to sleep. Delta always felt decadent to me, and I feel like Jefferson would dig that, as well as their superior snack selection and free wifi.

Based on him getting roasted by King George in the play, I can only assume that he’d bee positively gleeful about the comedy bits in the announcements and I also get the vibe he’d be into the shorts.

Awesome abolitionist and BFFs with Hamilton, he just seems like a United guy- he’s a status member but he’s not showy about it. Will give up an aisle seat for people travelling together. He’s nice like that.

This girl blazed her some trails- I have to think that were she around today, she’d either be a captain for whichever airline was lucky enough to have her, or a beloved and successful Congresswoman.

Oh, what’s that Johnny? Yeah I suppose it does suck to be abandoned and left in a tough spot in a time of need- kind of like when you got “sick” and made Hamilton write the lion’s share of a series of essays defending the new US Constitution. Oh well, do svidaniya.

And that, my friends, is me speculating wildly on which airlines our founders would fly on. Happy Independance Day!