There’s a 95% chance these two have no idea which airport they’re currently in

Okay but shrews are actually adorable

Corn-fed Midwesterner with a Brit Lit degree she only mildly regrets; though being able to recite Chaucer passages in an Olde English accent is kind of a cool party trick/ should tell you all you need to know about her college experience.

She graduated a few years after her first “unprecedented economic collapse”, so she ran away to Switzerland as an Au Pair for a year – the only things she retained were a renewed appreciate zeal for peanut butter and the ability to bark at you to “eat slower” in halting German.

Later, she’d embark on her most significant career leap up until that point in her life: becoming a flight attendant for a major US airline. It was a good job, and she loved it…for a while. But while she made lifelong friends, and learned so much about life, something still felt like it was missing.

Did she once turn down a frat party on a Friday night to write a 20-page paper on Taming of the Shrew for naught? (She was very cool and had MANY friends).

And then she found the job listing at ELP- and she saw an opportunity for her two great loves to merge: content writing, and the weird, complicated world of aviation. It’s only been a few months, but she’s never looked back. Except once, when she was really craving a number 20 from that place in Phoenix; my kingdom for a sandwich.

• funny yet comprehensive analysis of aviation news in real time

• irreverent tales from her former life

• commentary on ELP’s legacy of improving the lives on the front lines of aviation

• debates on why service standards should be reworked- cookies in the morning and pretzels in the afternoons because America is NOT ready to handle the mantle of this choice

At my funeral scatter stale pretzels and Biscoff crumbs instead of dirt

Everyone knows you don’t have to process emotions if you’re too physically exhausted

• baking – representative of the crumbling futility of this life, tempered only by a temporary sweetness, overshadowing our struggles all too briefly

• recreational running – Jordan literally running from her problems/ the ever-turning wheels of the entrepreneurial spirit that drives us all

• cats – representative of everything pure and lovely in this world, she would jump in front of traffic or join an MLM for them

• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – her favorite book she reads every fall/ a commentary on the trials of growing up/ looks legit when you’re reading at a hipster cafe

• True Crime- a favorite pastime to reflect upon/ everyone knows if you talk about it incessantly, it won’t happen to you, right? Right?!