(Fade into a remote terminal in the sticky heat of a Miami summer afternoon. Barely restrained tourists squabble around the gate as they wait to begin their sojourn to Fort Lauderdale)
Gate Agent 1: Erwin, this kid wants to fly on the plane, but alas, I am loathe to share that we have no more available seats.
Erwin: This world is as cruel as it is beautiful. Child, come forward, and let us discuss options to get you to Sawgrass Recreational Park along with your parents.
Kid: I just wanted to go to the Lego store by my house.
Erwin: Your brave face is admired but it is also pointless for I know that every young man yearns to take flight on the tiniest of planes alongside their family, while all anticipate a bountiful buffet at grandma’s retirement community. I can smell the ham now.
Kid: I throw up when I eat pork.
Erwin: No matter! Gate Agent, see to it that this young man succeeds in his quest to ride this tiny steel bird over mountain and everglade.
Gate Agent: Nothing would bring me more joy, but as I’ve already mournfully stated, we have no more seats.
Erwin (devil may care smile): Don’t we?
Kid: I am full of fear.
Erwin: Get me the captain and FO on the double! Child, do you have any flight experience?
Kid (shrugs): I made my little brother jump out of a tree once…
Erwin: Then you know more than half the pilots I’ve encountered.
(Pilot and FO saunter in)
Pilot: What, ho, Erwin, Gate Agent 1 said you wished to consult with us?
Erwin: Yes, this is a child. He yearns to see the sights of the majestic city of FLL and reunite with his grandparents.
Kid: My grandpa smells like Funyuns.
FO (crouches down by kid): Child, have you ever flown a plane before?
Kid: I made my teddy bear a parachute out of a garbage bag last week.
Captain: Say no more little pilot, it would be an honor to have you accompany us in the flight deck.
FO: Why on the jumpseat of course. It’s a folding slab of wood that probably needs some sanding, so watch any exposed limbs. Is there even a seatbelt? Who cares?!
Captain: (Hands kid his suitcase): Come along now, once you stow those, it’s time for preflight checks.
(all three begin walking down the jetbridge, the child struggling with the overstuffed bag)
FO: You wouldn’t happen to know what this indicator light means, would you child?
(Erwin and Gate Agent high-5)
Erwin: And that’s how we do it at Un-named Airlines.